With apologies to R.E.M.,
Saturday, May 21, is the day I get my diploma from Le Cordon Bleu. Starting the day before my 61st birthday last year and finishing up one year and 3 days later, I am now a Certified Culinarian. The timing is perfect. According to biblical scholar, Harold Camping from Family Radio Worldwide, the Rapture will take those who are worthy to heaven and the rest of us heathens will be wiped out via earthquakes, floods and fires. This is also occurs on May 21. Seems to me a few of these things are already taking place. Anyway, I'll have my diploma in hand when the Rapture happens at 10 PM.
And, even though we are having late rains here in Long Beach, it's not enough rain to have to worry about flooding. Plus the rain would be great for my garden, if I had anything in the ground. Alas, the rain has delayed the tilling of the soil and put a hold on my planting. I'm glad my culinary career didn't start out this way.
So if the Rapture happens, then planting won't be a concern. If it doesn't, I can start my new career as urban farmer and expertly cook the fruits of my labor for you all. Either way, if it's the end of the world as we know it...I'll feel fine!
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I think I like Blondie's "Rapture" better...
You go out at night, eatin' cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercuries and Subarus
And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars
Then, when there's no more cars
You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
One to one, man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move too slow, 'cause the man from Mars
Is through with cars, he's eatin' bars
Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
He's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture, be pure
Take a tour, through the sewer
Don't strain your brain, paint a train
You'll be singin' in the rain
I said don't stop, do punk rock
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